Charles Darwin (2010)

Charles Darwin is a well-known figure in history for his controversial work regarding evolution (not unlike Professor Oak). Interestingly enough, Darwin sported a magnificent beard, much like his arch-rival, God.

Darwin was born in 1809 in England. At the age of 22 he set out on a voyage to gain knowledge of geology and marine biology. He became very interested in why certain traits were passed on in certain animals. For instance, why do humans grow beards?

This led him to develop the theory of natural selection. This theory essentially states that the reason that men grow beards is that they are ESSENTIAL to survival of the species (Or at the very least provide some massive survival advantage over non-bearded species such as the kangaroo or the large mouth bass).

Scholars maintain that Darwin’s work angered God, causing him to be afflicted with years of illness in his life. Darwin knew his time was short, so he resorted to the ultimate survival mechanism: he grew a beard. With his beard power, he was able to resist the illnesses that should have claimed his life many years sooner. But remember, God too sports a beard and ultimately, his godly beard was too powerful for even Darwin.

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One Response to Charles Darwin (2010)

  1. Rosabel says:

    I like to party, not look aritcles up online. You made it happen.